The girls' golden birthday

So, some of you may not be aware of the practice of the golden birthday. All it means is you're turning the same age as the day you were born. This one birthday celebration should be a little bit more special than the former or future festivities. Since i believe this to be a charming practice, I wanted to start the tradition in our little family with the girls. Only problem is that my girls were born on the 1st... which means my first attempt at a birthday party as a mother of twins-- had to be golden.

In hind sight, this was ridiculous and put unnecessary pressure on myself. The girls will not remember their first birthday--even though it was exceedingly adorable. The first birthday is more a celebration of survival for some people, like publicly proclaiming, "Look! I didn't harm my child in my bumbling attempts to parent for the first time." But for me, it was an expression of love. I was so proud to be a momma to these girls who not only survived, we had thrived together for a full 12 months! I hope that though they may not remember all the effort I put in, the food I prepared, or the decorations I made that the foundation as a family we created and the resounding sense of love and affection I poured into the party will leave an afterglow that shines around the coming simpler cakes we gather around from here on out.

So here are a few pics from our party!

It was a great party where nothing was perfect, but everything was fine. I hope you enjoy looking at the pics. :)

My how a year has flown!

I have to admit that I have been remiss in updating this blog as often as I should. Motherhood is a fast paced adventure that has months passing like minutes. Each milestone and new talent is celebrated in the moment, but honestly they are happening so quickly now, I can barely keep up. As November 1st approaches, I have to admit that I have become both nostalgic and sentimental about the past 12 months.

Morning of...Geez I was massive!

Our first night home. :)

Family walk just last week!

Being mom to these two girls has changed my life in so many ways -- some expected, others completely unexpected. I shake my head as think back on the hard times. The days struggling to nurse, the lack of showers, the sleepless nights, the poop stories -- oh my the poop stories, but now they seem so sweet to me. I wouldn't trade each rough day for the best day before my girls were given to me. I can't imagine my life without their smiles, their giggles, their own special brand of sweetness that they bring to me each day.

I'll admit that most days are tiring. I feel busy, overwhelmed, sweaty, and under-qualified all the time. But I hope that the love I have for my girls, the dedication I have for raising them and raising them well will smooth over the rough patches. I hope that they will know I may not have done everything perfectly, but I did always do my best. And not only my best, but my best with the best intentions -- and in love.

So here's to a year! I will post pictures of the beeday, when it happens. :)

Teething Mama Drama

The day has come. The day is here. My children, however sweet, have grown weapons with which to communicate their displeasure --baby talons aside.

I have heard stories of teething troubles from most every mom I have encountered. They will tell you to look out for the following:

1. Fever
2. Drooling
3. Fussing
4. Night Wakings
5. Chewing
6. Runny Nose
7. Diarrhea
8. Swollen or blistered gums
9. Trouble/disinterest in eating

Sounds a bit like the side effects spoken quickly at the end of a prescription meds commercial. In short, not pleasant, not pleasant at all.

However, though my experience has been harrowing, I have done some research and found that many times parents mistake serious illness for teething because of hearing about the above symptoms. SO please be careful, and if you aren't sure... go to the doctor. Better safe than sorry.

Now granted, my children didn't have all of these... we thankfully missed out on the fever and diarrhea. But all the rest ring true. Especially the chewing, swollen gums, fussing, and night wakings... Oh the night wakings! If I had become remiss in my gratitude for the marginal increase in the amount of sleep we were getting, I have repented verily.

The great thing about growing teeth is now my children are piranhas at the breast. With a coy smile and a batting of eyelashes, Cadence will demonstrate the ingenious utility of her newly acquired chompers. (Weaning never looked so good) But it also means an increase in solids. And there is nothing --nothing I say-- more entertaining than feeding your babies new foods.

We have discovered short of turkey Ruby is a veritable food hoover, baby birding her way through anything set before her. She especially likes scrambled eggs.

Cadence on the other hand is less inclined towards change. She is still by far the heftier of the two, but instead she chooses to indulge in foods known to her. Her favorite is bananas.

Twinformation:

The girls are growing so fast I can barely keep up anymore. They are both cruising, crawling everywhere and curious about everything. We are sleep training using the babywhisperer methods, and it is working. :) (Thank heaven for that!) I am simply in awe of how sweet and grownie my girls have become. What a blessing!

PS. I have entered the girls in the Gerber Generations Baby Contest. Here is a link to their entry or their number is 266426 . Please vote for them everyday starting on Sept 4th. (Mama needs a new pair of shoes! -- to keep up with babies, of course. :))

Advice on well-- Advice...

This post is going to be part commentary on motherhood and then part pity party. I will be sure to label so you may skip over (or skip to) the pity parade.

Commentary-
In my last post, I talked about competitive motherhood and how I view it as destructive. Well I found another soap box and it begins in the Webster's dictionary and with a question. Are you an encourager or a commiserator for fellow mothers?

To encourage literally means:
encourage |enˈkərij; -ˈkə-rij|verb [ trans. ]give support, confidence, or hope to (someone) : we were encouraged by the success of this venture | • give support and advice to (someone) so that they will do or continue to do something : [ trans. ] pupils are encouraged to be creative.• help or stimulate (an activity, state, or view) to develop : the intention is to encourage new writing talent.
An encouraging comrade in motherhood lifts up her fellow mother, drives her towards good habits, offers sound advice, supports her, offers her hope. She might say, "When I went through that with my child, I tried (insert meaningful advice). I also read this book or article to help me deal with it. Don't feel bad about not knowing everything, no one does!" Etc, etc.
To commiserate means:commiserate |kəˈmizəˌrāt|verb [ intrans. ]express or feel sympathy or pity; sympathize : she went over to commiserate with Rose on her unfortunate circumstances.• [ trans. ] archaic feel, show, or express pity for (someone) : she did not exult in her rival's fall, but, on the contrary, commiserated her.
On a side note: here are the defintions for sympathy and pity...sympathy |ˈsimpəθē|noun ( pl. -thies)1 feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune : they had greatsympathy for the flood victims.
pity |ˈpitē|noun ( pl. pities)1 the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering andmisfortunes of others : her voice was full of pity.


Someone who commiserates with you feels bad for you, but there is no forward motion, no lifting up. For example, another mother might say, "That is so terrible!  Awful, awful, awful. I hated that stage. Oh my little Johnny was just as bad. He would (insert inappropriate behavior) in public all the time. He grew out of it -- eventually."

-or-
I get this a bunch because I have twins. People, absolute strangers even, will say, "Better you than me, I just don't see how you can function with two of them, or just wait till their (this person's least favorite age of child), then it's going to be chaos at your house." The funny thing (not really funny) is you don't realize how many times I hear those words a week. And instead of feeling your sympathy for my situation... it begins to chip away at my self confidence as a parent. How many times can you hear someone say that things are only going to get worse or be hard before you resign yourself to NOT enjoying your job as a mom... Think about it. These are not helpful words. It feels similar to someone seeing you fall in a giant hole and saying, "Wow, that is a biiiig hole, sucks to be you."

 I have found that when someone commiserates with me, I end up feeling worse. But let me know your thoughts...


PITY PARTY WARNING:
We are sleep training our girls. They are 8 months and not sleeping through the night. Everything I've read tells me I am ruining their future lives if I let them cry it out, or I am spoiling them by helping them. I have chosen a middle ground, going in comforting them, but not picking them up... It is soooo hard to know they are tired, but won't sleep. And the crying!!!! It breaks my heart. :( Any advice on how you got your kiddies to sleep through the night would be most appreciated. :) (No gloating if it was uber easy, just kidding feel blessed!)

Twinforamtion:
The girls are teething, crawling, eating solids, cruising, trying to walk and getting into everything that isn't spirited away from them or tied down. My days are filled with chasing, cuddling, hair pulling, zerberting, and every one of them is an adventure.

Time Flies When You're A Mom

It is now halfway through June, and my last post was in April, if that tells you the way my life is going. I know so many moms who at least in appearance have it all together (the job, the house, the chores, the kids, etc.), but if I am truly honest with myself... I didn't have it ALL together before the girls got here.

I have noticed a negative trend with some women in regards to mothering: The dreaded mommy competition. I am telling everyone now I refuse to participate in this. We all parent differently. We all manage differently. No one way is presumably the best way. The point is mothering is a personal experience, and we each bring our own flare and style to it. I can appreciate your methods without practicing them as well as without degrading my own. I will not allow myself to second guess or doubt my abilities and talents as a parent based on people's opinion of them. I am not saying I do not want advice or aid in learning to parent, but I will not/cannot live my life competing for the Mrs. Universe of Mothering. Women should find unity and community in being a mother. It should be a common ground of trust, truth, and support. But I have seen it used to tear down other women in order to make others feel superior. This is sad and cruel. So fellow mothers, if you are looking for support, love, and advice/opinions on mothering: I will gladly be there in a jiffy. If however, you are looking to compete or criticize other mothers in order to win some superiority contest... look elsewhere. There I said it. Now off the soap box.

My personal struggles:
My days are filled with giggles, chasing rogue crawlers, diaper changes, baths, naps, and feeding, feeding, feeding my girls. I occasionally have a few minutes to spare for laundry, or dishes. But the overall mood of my home is well cluttered. Now this realization could be devastating for someone like me who craves order, organization, and structure. I may hate to clean, but I enjoy living in a clean environment. However, I am trying daily to make a conscious choice to do what I can, and not worry about the rest. When I am old and the girls are grown, I don't think I will think about the state of my house. I will be far more nostalgic about their daily lives, of which I am striving to be apart of.

I know that there will be days I lose this battle, and perhaps my grip, and become frustrated on the state of the house. But I am hoping that these days are far outnumbered by the days that I just simply enjoy the gift that God has given me and hang the housework!

ANY mommy/household running tips would be greatly appreciated! How do you juggle it all?

Twinformation:
The girls are 7 months 3 weeks. They are both crawling and pulling up. They have so much energy and personality. Every day is both an adventure and easier. I am not sure if this is because the hectic is becoming normal or because I am getting better at juggling them. :)

We have been to the beach and to visit the Great Grands in AL. I am able to take them out without having a panic attack, although I haven't quite learned to handle the celebrity that comes with running errands with twins. :S

I am planning on updating more often. Keep me accountable! If you have any questions post them on here and I'll do my best to answer them!

An Aside on the Necessity of Coffee

Now I know that most people would like to believe themselves or perhaps their own parents as the ever vigilant, never tiring, heroically vivacious guardians of their children's daily existence, but I must let you all in on a little secret. It just isn't so. I believe that I prove the preposterousness of the Energizer Bunny/Master Mom daily.

That being said, I am about to alter a famous Benjamin Franklin quote to suit my own convictions. "Coffee is proof that God loves children, and wants people to be parents."- Jessica Cooper as inspired by Ol' Ben.

I was once an energetic morning person, filled with joy and wonder at the rising sun of each new day. BUT NO LONGER! Oh the joy is still there, but the ability to throw myself out of bed into the rushing water of each day is greatly diminished. And by diminished, I mean nonexistent. Here we are now at the crux of my new ideology: Coffee is a gift to help parents run on autopilot long enough in the mornings till their brains catch up with their bodies and the kids.

I never drank coffee growing up, but my mom did. And my mom is hardcore; she drinks black coffee several times a day. I tasted the stuff and was disgusted and surprised that she could stomach it at all. However, in my college years tempered with tons of sugar and cream I would drink the stuff to stay awake to study. This sugared down drink was a once in awhile pleasure taken recreationally with no real thought throughout my adulthood.

Then, I had twins. Now, I was aware from the get-go that this would be life altering. How could having two babies at once not change your life? But I never thought I would be so exhausted! Me- who rose with the sun each day. Me- who stayed up late and woke up early with little effort. However, my energy levels had never been so tested or taxed. I thought myself invincible to fatigue. So you can imagine my surprise, when I found myself unable to move my limbs or hold my eyes open in morning. My babies mimicking my old vitality and waking with the sun made my eyes burn and my nerves raw. I decided to give my mom's cure all a try. A large cup of coffee, still sweetened for goodness sake, and I was up arunning like old times. I thought this is a miracle of miracles. I now understand my mother's penchant for foldgers. This stuff is amazing. But there is of course a catch to every cure all. You come to a point where you need coffee to get going. I am no longer able to start the day without a cup. And while I don't believe this to be inherently bad, I am a little saddened at the loss of natural alertness I have been known for.

So here is to coffee, a necessary evil or required boon of being a mother to two beautiful girls!


Twinformation:
The girls are growing like weeds!

Ruby is a zerburting  queen. She is 23 3/4 in long and weighs in at 11lbs 7oz. She is bright eyed and always watching everything.  She is quick with a smile. She loves playing with her feet, listening to music, and touching people's faces. She refuses to use a bottle and is definitely a momma's girl.

Cadence is a true squealer. She is 2ft long and weighs almost 13lbs. She is on the move constantly and is almost crawling. She loves being tickled and tossed, talking, and attacking the burp cloth. She is a giggler! She loves to eat and doesn't care who feeds her or what it is either. She is friendly and outgoing.

Mother, Mom, Mama?

mother |ˈməðər|noun1 a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth.• a person who provides the care and affection normally associatedwith a female parent : my adoptive mother.• a female animal in relation to its offspring : [as adj. ] a motherpenguin.• archaic (esp. as a form of address) an elderly woman.
Seems simple enough, right. I know that biologically I am a mother. But emotionally, spiritually, intellectually...I am not so sure I have achieved the status.
I just finished reading a book called Extremely Loud, and Incredibly Close. Though it isn't a book about a parenting model, it did have some thought provoking ideas about life and parenting. In the book, a man keeps a catalog of people that he deems biographically significant; however, he defines everyone he puts inside with just one word. And that got me to thinking... If I boil myself down to my most concentrated part, what one word would I use to define me?
These past three months have really been an intense time of altering my definition of myself. Before now, I saw myself as many different things, wearing many different hats, some vastly more important to me than others. Here is a brief study of my previous definition.
*Woman- easy right?*Christian-slightly less physically obvious, but I hope observable.*Daughter, Wife- familial in nature, one biological the other chosen (the best choice I have made for myself)
Okay, right in here is where the crux of the definition turns into how I see my personality.
*Nerd- something I have known for some time now, a vigorous curiosity about everything in the world and heavens around me, an intellectual state of mind fed by a voracious love of learning and reading.*Teacher- something I both love and in my opinion excel at, something I have had a passion for since I was 6, something I feel called to do as my explicit purpose from God.*Singer- something I dabble in, something that I do daily and immensely enjoy, something that others have complimented me on, but that I typically dismiss as a hobby not a talent.*Writer- something that you are witnessing as I type, something I do to keep my crazy in check, mostly perspective/opinion based; however, I have written a good deal of poetry, something that I do for me and rarely share in the hopes of others praise, a selfish hobby if you will.
Ok so on top of all of that, now I need to add mother. But how do I define being a mom? Do I let it replace one of the above listed. Does it completely encompass/overwhelm the others? 
I spoke with a close friend today about this very thing, and after a nap, which usually puts things in perspective for me... I have decided the following. Prepare to be enlightened beyond your wildest dreams. (perhaps that is a bit over indulgent)
I have decided to redefine mother using my definition of myself. And I encourage every mother out there to do the same. Here is my definition of mother:
mother |ˈməðər|nounA woman who through her faith, family ties, and choices will teach her child/ren the beauty of learning, singing, writing, and living life fully, creatively, and simply. A person who uses her time, energy, and arms to bring joy, instill values, and care for her offspring.
That is what I will be as a mother. I don't have to leave ANY of me behind to be one. I choose not to look with regret at the choices I have made. I will instead use them to redefine mother. To make being a mother not a change in myself, but being a mother a more intensified version of myself. To make being a mother the concentrated version of myself.
So, if I you will humor me, I will sum up myself in one word.
Jessica Cooper- mother!
The exclamation point is for added emphasis. I think it helps construe the positively life changing aspect of this sudden revelation, don't you?
Twinformation:The girls are growing. They are both around 10lbs. We are working on holding our heads up off the carpet. I have moved to almost exclusively nursing, which I enjoy because it allows time with both of the girls individually. Their personalities are so different and we get a larger window into them everyday. :) Updates will follow, should you be curious. :)